Sunday’s Note

Having bipolar disorder isn’t fun, we’ve established that. But knowing that you are manic and not feeling well doesn’t make it easier.

With today being Sunday, it’s that time of the week where a front must be put up for a few hours and pretend that everything is peachy keen. Or at least that’s what it seems like to me. Since the diagnosis was confirmed that I have BPD, I hate going out on some days and when it seems like I don’t have much of a choice, that makes it more stressful in a way because of everyone looking at me. I HATE being in the spotlight or being looked at (if that makes sense).

When I say I hate being looked at, it’s paranoia to a degree. I’m constantly worrying about what people think about me and wondering if they are making fun of me because of how I look or the way I’m dressed.

Les Brown - 1

I included a quote from Les Brown because it’s true and it’s something that I struggle to remember on a day to day basis. Yes, being paranoid can drive a person insane, but it can be helped. Why should someone else’s opinion of me matter when the only person I should be worried about is myself. Yes, I’m over weight and yes, I have medical issues. Life isn’t perfect no matter who you are or how much money you have to your name.

If you want your life to FEEL perfect, be happy with who you are, how you look, and with what you have to your name. People will come and go throughout your life and the only constant is God and the fact that He loves you no matter what.

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