I guess you can say I started this blog so I can follow authors as well as have a way to get my feelings out as I struggle with the very real problem of bipolar disorder. Being a person who struggles to get their feelings out, it may come across as I am whining or complaining about things…I’m not.
Anyway, a little about me. I’m 26 years old and I live in the NE Georgia mountains where I was pretty much born and raised. I’m the youngest of two girls, but if we are counting pets, I am the middle child. We adopted a 1/2 Australian shepherd, 1/2 Husky back in 2003 when she was 8 weeks old. 13 years later and she’s not the runt like she was when she was a puppy. She’s 61 pounds now and she’s having problems due to arthritis and skin allergies. I have an AAS (Associates in Applied Science) in Environmental Horticulture and that alone took me longer than it should have because I was the typical brand new college student and couldn’t make up my mind on what I wanted to study. Yes, that means I could get a job that requires me playing in the dirt, but that’s another story for another time…maybe.
Bipolar disorder. What is life with the disease? Is it really a disease? Can I manage several things all at once while battling it? Why don’t people understand that it’s a daily struggle with it? Are they going to judge me when they find out I have it? Will they decide I’m not “perfect” enough for them? You see, those are just a few questions that run through my head from time to time when I start thinking about it. Let’s get this straight, bipolar disorder (or bpd as I’ll start calling it) is nothing to take lightly. Nor can it be faked. That’s the thing, people don’t truly understand it. Hell, I don’t understand it myself, but I know that it’s real.
Here’s the true definition of bpd from the Mayo Clinic: Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression). When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts in the other direction, you may feel euphoric and full of energy. Mood shifts may occur only a few times a year or as often as several times a week. Although bipolar disorder is a disruptive, long-term condition, you can keep your moods in check by following a treatment plan. In most cases, bipolar disorder can be controlled with medications and psychological counseling (psychotherapy).
Since being diagnosed with BPD in December of last year (2015), because of reasons that I’ll save for another time (maybe), I’ve been trying to understand it. I’m getting help through medication and counseling, but I still have days that are worse than others…but who doesn’t have days like that even without having BPD. When I am manic, I’m super fidgety and I ramble…a lot. The bad thing is, my parents get so impatient with me when I’m in manic mode that it just upsets me…chalk another one up for them as to how to get under my skin. Heaven help when I’m in a low depression…that’s not fun either.
Life goes on as we all must. I’ll do another blog later, I promise. Then we’ll talk about happier stuff. x